From The Bishop

When I was a child, I was taught this simple rhyme: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” It was to be used as a defence against name calling. But as the years have passed, I realized it was misleading. It is true that sticks and stones could break bones; however, names can hurt me. Words can be used as weapons that wound deeply, and the effects can last a lifetime. A physical wound or a broken bone can heal over time. Eventually, life returns to normal. When a person is wounded by words, there is no natural healing process. Those words remain in our minds and continue to do damage. We have all heard someone say, “I did not mean what I said. I take it back.” This may work with a physical object, because what has been given can be returned; it does not work with words. I cannot reach into someone’s mind and literally “take back” what I have said. They pass my lips never to return. It is not only the spoken word that can do damage. Modern technology provides many benefits; however, what we text, e-mail or blog can also be destructive. Sometimes people use this medium to say things they would never express in a face-to-face conversation. A perceived anonymity creates opportunities to say things without considering the consequences. Like our voice, technology becomes the means of conveying our words to others. We must always do so in a respectful manner. There appears to be a growing lack of civility in the public order, and this can become discouraging. People use words to attack one another in order to discredit and humiliate. Name-calling seems to be on the rise, and I am not simply speaking of the schoolyard. I think everyone would agree that we need to use our words to build up, rather than to tear down. This is a challenge, because it is far easier to be negative than to be positive. Many will be able to tell you what is wrong with something or someone; only a few can tell you what is right. The Gospel of St. John begins, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God … And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” Jesus, who is the Word, always used words to encourage rather than discourage. Some say his words comforted the afflicted and afflicted the comfortable. He was able to do this because his motivation was love. Christians believe Jesus offers the best example of how to use our words for the good of all. Jesus will also help to heal us of the many wounds that thoughtless words have inflicted upon us over the years. When we have been belittled and put down, He will lift us up to see our true self. This is the supernatural healing that transcends the broken bones from sticks and stones. The Lord’s love will help us forgive those who have hurt us and let go of those words that torment us. We will begin to see the good in ourselves and in others. This will give us greater peace and fewer opportunities to use our words as weapons. Let us all try to think before we speak. Our words convey an awesome power to either build up or tear down, so speak well and help to create a civil society.   First published on St. Catharines Standard: http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/2016/10/21/faith-matters-words-used-as-weapons-can-be-hurtful